HOPE from Dickens

In spite of the rather presumptuous and pompous title, The Man Who Invented Christmas is a great movie. In fact, it’s marvelous! Taking place in Dickens’ own lifetime, it shows the struggle he went through in writing A Christmas Carol, inner turmoil that all writers go through. But it is more than that. Inside all of us lives a Scrooge, and the sooner we come to grips with that, the better. Dickens realized it, after wrestling with the story for weeks.  

If you remember the story, Tiny Tim says in the end “God bless us every one.” Well, at first Dickens was going to have him die, and have Scrooge NOT change at all. How different the story would have been! I doubt if it ever would have seen the light of day, had he written it as he originally intended to. The over-arching message of the story is that people CAN change, and that truly gives Hope.

At the end of the movie, we see this: “A Christmas Carol came out on Dec. 19, 1843, and it was all sold out by Christmas Eve. Charitable giving soared…” Now I know that Dickens wasn’t the only person who influenced the culture at that time. William Wilberforce had died just 10 years prior to that, and he was a tremendous influence on the culture as a whole. Making it a good thing to be unselfish, generous, and kind, especially to those who were less fortunate.

But it seems we need to be reminded every decade or so. Live to give. Don’t yield to the Scrooge within. We watched The Christmas Shoes just one night before. If you aren’t familiar with that movie, it is a good story about the softening of a father’s heart for his family. It’s a real tear-jerker, but worth watching. I found myself softening, towards my husband, towards my grandchildren, slowing down to be thankful for little things.

How many times in counseling do I say to my clients that they need to be thankful in order to be happy? But I need to be reminded of it myself. I could relate to Dickens’ wife, because I’m married to a writer too. And like she said, it’s not always easy. (Jerry would admit to that!) But overall, I do have a lot to be thankful for, not the least of which is that Jerry is not as emotional and eccentric as Dickens!

This Christmas, let me leave you with one thought: Be generous and humble. Be Jesus to people. He came to earth so that you can do this, by His grace.

The Gift of Self Denial: Do We Give It to Ourselves?

 

I recently read an article called “The Gift of Self-Denial” in a magazine, and got to thinking that it’s sadly lacking in most of our thinking. Especially this time of year! How many of us spend any time at all reflecting on the command of Jesus: “Deny yourself, take up your cross daily, and follow me?” (Luke 9:23)

So much of our focus is on ourselves, and what to give others for Christmas. What to give Dad, who has everything? What does little Joey want? Will Sally be pleased with my present? That’s not wrong (I do it myself), but what about the gift of self-control?

I’m going to take some paragraphs from the well written article in Focus on the Family Magazine*.  Get ready…

“It’s not a bad thing to let our kids go without something they want. …I tell my boys that practicing self-restraint is like exercising a muscle. The more we assay no to some desire, the easier it is to say no to something that is appealing but harmful when it really matters. Occasionally, one of them would get over attached to a toy or video game.  It seemed he had to have that object or game to be OK.

But I knew he would be OK without it, and I set about to prove it to him. “I think it’s time to fast form this game for a while,” I’d say.

Gasping, my son would say “No! I love it! Please, mom!”

“Honey, you are stronger than you think,” I’d say. “You think you can’t live without this game. I know you can. Nothing on earth should have this kind of power over you.

                       

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 Self-reflection time. When's the last time that you told yourself "NO?" Are YOU dependent on things for happiness?

 Now, when you look at the trends today: increased suicide rates among young people, sky-rocketing depression and anxiety rates, fewer kids than ever graduating from college, fewer people starting their own businesses, a drastic drop on achievement for Americans in the academic arena…Why? Could it be lack of self-control? Research, sadly, says yes. ** It’s very sobering.

So we need to go against the trend. To teach self-restraint is our job. To practice it ourselves.

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Back to the story:

“It was difficult watching each son go through times of withdrawal. But they eventually found something else to do. It’s an amazing phenomenon: Once you get past the pain of self-denial, there’s actually relief on the other side.

My boys discovered that they didn’t need a toy to be OK. And when they finally did get their toy back, something beautiful happen: They were grateful. Once my boys realized they could live without something, they rarely returned to their unhealthy affection for it.”

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We all can learn something from this, whether or not we’re a parent. Practice self-restraint! It’s idolatry to be dependent on things, and John says at the end of one of his letters: “Little children, keep yourselves  from idols.” (I John 5:21)

So this Christmas, let’s give ourselves the gift of self-denial. Now, lest you think I’m a Scrooge or a Grinch, let me hasten to add that my family celebrates Christmas with gusto.

But, tempered with the underlying need for self-control.

To quietly deny oneself is truly good for the soul.

*Focus on the Family Magazine, Dec.2017-Jan 2018 by Susie Larson
** The Collapse of Parenting by Dr. Leonard Sax