Thursday, October 15, 2020

Covid and Empathy

What have we learned from 7 months of Covid? Well, one thing for sure: we can handle disappointments. They're not fun. They're hard. And we've all had more than our share of them this past several months, some big and some small. But we've all survived. It may seem to some of us that we have had more disappointments in the past 7 months than the past 7 years! I think our kids have had to put up with more disappointments than we ever had to in this short amount of time. How are they handling it? Well, it depends on how we adults are coping. Are we whining and complaining? Or are we accepting it, grudgingly to be sure, but are we accepting it? Children are more resilient than we give them credit for. Most of them don't even complain about wearing masks, that is unless they hear their parents grumbling about it. For many adults, it's more about loss of freedom than anything else. Children don't have that perspective. They simply shrug and adjust.  To be sure we've learned to wash our hands more often. This is great. Many people noticed the hoards of people walking, and families walking together. Bike sales have skyrocketed. So this is how we adjust...One thing that has amazed me is how creatively people have solved problems this past spring and summer. The seniors graduating in 2020 came up with some innovative ways to celebrate, since they couldn't do the traditional things. I saw gatherings at people's houses, in cars; processions of people (all social distancing) with creatively decorated cars. The exuberance of youth could not be extinguished by a pandemic! How about people that had church in their cars? Or on the lawn? Now they're wearing coats and bringing blankets. And everyone learned how to use Zoom, Google hangouts, and 100 other technological devices that make connecting possible. One parent observed that families are finding more things at home to do. Puzzles, crafts, gardening, board games are all making a comeback. My daughter in law went online and bought a whole bunch of crafts as soon as she found out school was going to be at home last spring. Good thing, they were all sold out in a week. Concerts are available online, another new thing.   I want to highlight the good things that have come from this unprecedented time. We all know the bad things (if we have seen any news at all).  We've had to limit our social contacts, and there's a danger that we will become even more cynical about relationships. It could cause us "people people" to spend time alone, reflecting. But for the person who's already lonely (most Americans), it is having lethal and terrible consequences in the rising suicdie rate, rising relapse rate, depression and anxiety have skyrocketed. As a mental health professional, my client load has doubled, and I'm turning people away. For some, they're turning to God and eternal things. "A person's ability to endure is based on their ability to look beyond the physical to the spiritual, and beyond the visible to the invisible.: That's based on II Cor. 4:16-18 "Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at things that are seen, but at things that are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."   But sadly, not everyone believes it. We can have empathy for those who don't have faith. The elderly have been hit the hardest with Covid, and many of them are terribly lonely. Their kids and grandkids can't visit them. I'm convinced that some are dying of a broken heart. How sad! It's a tragedy. A good opportunity to teach empathy.  But it doesn't help to focus on the negative. Phil 4:8 says "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."  We can learn and teach empathy in this crazy time. We can keep on keeping on...