Yesterday
someone asked me why anxiety has passed up depression as the number one mental
health issue in the country. I said because of the pace of life being so
hectic. Then I ran into an article by Tracy Gillett. https://afineparent.com/author/tracy-gillett
She writes
that parents’ fears, ambitions, drives, AND the fast pace of life cause our
children to scramble for safety in their minds. They aren’t given time to set
boundaries on the excess that they’re confronted with daily. They have to grow
up sooner than they should. The result is that they are showing the same signs
as children in a war zone. PTSD symptoms: being jumpy, nervous, hyper-vigilant,
wary of new things.
I’ve seen it
in my practice, it’s getting worse. Anxiety. How can we beat it?
First let’s
identify the problem.
Five Pillars
of Excess Are:
1.
Too much stuff
2.
Too many choices
3.
Too many activities
4.
Too much information
5.
Too much speed
Children need
to play and explore, in unstructured time. The lack of down time is hurting
them! They are over-committed in everything from gymnastics, piano lessons,
sports, to carefully structured play dates. Their “down time” is filled with
movies, video games, and social media. That leaves no time for BOREDOM. With
boredom comes creativity! Even 2 hours of unstructured lay a week boosts
creativity.
Here are some
ways you can simplify your children’s life:
1.
Remove excess toys after
they are asleep. Limit the number of new toys they get, give their old ones to
children who need them. Or at least put them out of sight in a closet.
2.
Don’t give them so many
choices as to food they eat, treats they get, what they’re going to do with
their free time. Tighten up.
3.
Say NO to over-commitment.
Limit the number of sports, birthday parties, and extra-curricular classes your
child takes.
4.
Don’t talk about adult
problems like global warming at the table with a 7 year old. Watch the news
after they are asleep. (I’m amazed at the number of 5-6 year olds that are
scared of a terrorist attack)
5.
Create down time that is
calm, a solace for them. Limit yourself as to the activities you rush to.
Create margin in your lives, which greatly cuts down on the hurrying.
If you can do
even some of these things, you will be doing your children a favor.
Read what Sarah Ann has to say: (http://foreverymom.com/family-parenting/the-rampant-epidemic-thats-bringing-down-our-kids-entitlementsarah-ann/
“Children are often raised
entitled; believing that they are owed “something and everything” from the
world around them.
They believe they’re entitled to the finer things in life:
technology, vacations, clothes, eating out, and constant entertainment.
Working hard for something is a foreign concept, and many suffer
from a poisonous attitude against work.
Ironically, children expect good grades, to be the best at their
sport, and to be the center of attention, even if they don’t deserve it.
In an age of selfies and status updates, children tend to be
narcissists, believing that life revolves around them.
The source
The root of the problem seems to be two-fold, a progression of
society away from biblical principles and parents who condone such behavior.
Society encourages children to want more and to expect that the
finer things in life are coming to them, regardless of the cost. Mom and
Dad should provide luxury items, and sacrifice regardless of the expense
so children can have the latest technology and material possessions.
Parents fuel the fire by not putting boundaries, not saying no, or
not having children work towards earning things, such a cell phone.
Also, many parents encourage the mind-set that life revolves around the children, and are not teaching the life lesson about serving others.
Children also see parents going to bat for them against teachers,
coaches, and authority figures, thus demeaning the role in the child’s life,
and fostering an attitude of disrespect.
If a child isn’t held accountable by mom and dad for actions and
responsibilities, there will be no respect for those in authority.
Is there a solution?
I wish I could say I had the answer to this all figured out and
families would desire change.
But I do believe with boundaries placed within the home, there can
be change within a family, which sparks change in a community, and is
contagious.
Parents can…
– Say no to children at an early age
– Teach children God’s Word and how to walk according to His
promises
– Don’t be afraid to have the family make changes and go against
the norms of society
– Surround your family with friends who do the same
– Encourage children to be others focused, not selfish
– Make children earn material goods, and limit possessions as
teachable moments about life
– Show respect, as parents, to all authority figures, even when
you disagree, and encourage your child to do the same”
Well, that’s what my workshop on the 19th of August will be about!
Many ways that parents CAN teach their children to be thankful, even
today. Sign up today! Contact me. Even if you can just come to half of it, it’ll be worth
your time! I promise…
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