10 Essential Traits of Emotional Health

Am I emotionally healthy? We all ask ourselves that from time to time, if we are self-aware. Here is a list of 10 traits that will tell you how emotionally healthy you are.

1.      Are you honest? With yourself and others? Personal strength and emotional stability is built on integrity and transparency.

2.      Are you peaceful? Overlook offenses, stay calm and serene: these are things to strive for. Don’t fall into what John Bevere calls The Bait of Satan: offenses. Bitterness is lethal.

3.      Are you grateful? One of the best markers of emotional stability is humility, and this is shown by how grateful you are. We have a lot to be thankful for! Stop and count your blessings daily.

4.      Are you positive? You choose whether you are an optimist or a pessimist, whether you look at the bright side of things or the dark side. Smile, laugh, and enjoy your life!

5.      Are you connected? Stay close to those who love you. Work at those relationships We’re not meant to go through life alone.

6.      Are you determined? Keep your eyes on the goal, and resist distractions. You can re-evaluate your goals regularly, and cut out what is not helping you reach them.

7.      Are you intentional? Get rid of haphazard and random living. Stay deliberate and purposeful.

8.      Are you balanced? Keep work, love, projects, and people integrated in a finely tuned harmony. Don’t fall prey to the extremes that try to tempt all of us to live an unbalanced life.

9.      Are you strong? Be known for the best attitude, best effort, and best character. Finish strong. Do not be easily frustrated or angry when things don’t go your way. Use obstacles to strengthen your character and develop a higher frustration tolerance. This will make you strong in ways that really matter.

10.  Are you hopeful? Remain confident that your future is filled with the promise of good things to come. God is faithful.

Whether you are just recovering from years of addiction, a CEO of a large company, or a housewife, whatever your life circumstances, take stock of yourself. What one or two qualities can you improve in?

This was taken from JourneyToRecovery.com by Dr. Hal Baumchen.

Stop the Suicides!

How can we stop the suicides that are happening at a younger and younger age? I believe that this author says it better than I can, so I am re-posting her blog here.

Silent Tragedy: Every Parent Who Cares About The Future Of His/Her Child Should Read This

“I know that many would choose not to hear what I say in the article, but your children need you to hear this message. Even if you disagree with my perspective, please, just follow the recommendations at the end of the article. Once you see the positive changes in your child’s life, you will understand why I say what I say!” ~Victoria Prooday

There is a silent tragedy developing right now, in our homes, with our children. Through my work with hundreds of children and families as an occupational therapist, I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes.
Talk to teachers and professionals who have been working in the field for the last 15 years. You will hear concerns on kids’ mental health similar to mine. Moreover, in the past 15 years, researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in kids’ mental illness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:

• 1 in 5 children has mental health problems
• 43% increase in ADHD
• 37% increase in teen depression
• 200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old

How Much More Evidence Do We Need Before We Wake Up?

No, “increased diagnostics alone” is not the answer!
No, “they all are just born like this” is not the answer!
No, “it is all the school system’s fault” is not the answer!
Yes, as painful as it can be to admit, in many (not all) cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles!

Here is a printable list of 30 ways to help your kids! It is scientifically proven that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself through the environment. Unfortunately, with the environment and parenting styles that we are providing to our children, we are rewiring their brains in the wrong direction and contributing to their challenges in everyday life.
Yes, there are and always have been children who are born with disabilities and despite their parents’ best efforts to provide them with a well-balanced environment and parenting, their children continue to struggle. These are NOT the children I am talking about here.
I am talking about many others whose challenges are greatly shaped by the environmental factors that parents, with their greatest intentions, provide to their children. As I have seen in my practice, the moment parents change their perspective on parenting, many of these children change.

What is Wrong With Our Children?

Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits and guidance
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement and outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom

Instead, children are being raised by:

• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent parents who let kids “rule the world”
• Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• Sedentary indoor lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification, and absence of dull moments

Could anyone imagine that it is possible to raise a healthy generation in such an unhealthy environment? Of course not! There are no shortcuts to parenting, and we can’t trick human nature. As we see, the outcomes are devastating. Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being.

How to Fix It?

If we want our children to grow into happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and go back to the basics. It is still possible! I know this because hundreds of my clients see positive changes in their kids’ emotional state within weeks (and in some cases, even days) of implementing these recommendations:
Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT at this time, not a friend.
Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.

• Provide nutritious food and limits snacks. Avoid toxic foods.
• Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects.
• Have a daily technology-free family dinner.
• Play one board game a day. (List of family games) Allow for unstructured play.
• Involve your child in one or more chores a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc).
• Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom.

• Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.

Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens:

• Don’t feel responsible for being your child’s entertainment crew.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”.
• Help them create a “boredom first aid kit” with activity ideas for “I am bored” times.

Be emotionally available to connect with kids and teach them self-regulation and social skills:

• Turn off your phones until kids are in bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become your child’s emotional coach. Teach them to recognize and deal with frustration and anger.
• Teach greeting, taking turns, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills,
• Connect emotionally – Smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, or crawl with your child.

We must make changes in our kids’ lives before this entire generation of children will be medicated! It is not too late yet, but soon it will be…
For anyone who questions this phenomenon, the Star News/ Canada article may be helpful: Demand for youth mental health services is exploding. How universities and business are scrambling to react. Victoria’s original article.

Victoria holds a Master of Science in Occupational Therapy from the Medical School at University of Toronto and a Bachelor of Science in Kinesiology and Health Science from York University. She is founder and director of a multidisciplinary clinic in Toronto, Canada, for children with behavioral, social, emotional and academic challenges. Victoria, along with her team, has helped hundreds of families across Canada and around the world and is a frequent guest speaker to teachers, parents and professionals.

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