The other day I saw a mom instructing her young
children to put some groceries into the ICA food shelf bin in Cub Foods. “How
awesome!” was my first thought. “She’s teaching them to give!” As I reflected
on this act of kindness, I realized that depending on her own attitude, she
could foster one of two thought patterns in these very impressionable minds.
One possibility is self-righteousness. “Well, that’s done. Glad we did our good
deed for the day. Aren't we generous?
Too bad everyone isn't like us!” Or, speaking to the children: “Can you
imagine how sad the people must feel if they don't have enough food? Maybe
their mommy or daddy lost their job and all they have is Ramen to eat. It's a
small thing we can do to help them feel a little better. And if our heart is
right it honors our Creator.” In the second example, the parent nurtures their
hearts, teaching them to feel for others.
“To
see with the eyes, to hear with the ears, to feel with the heart of another…”
this quote is from Alfred Adler, who taught people how to love their neighbors
as themselves very effectively.
Here are some practical ideas for teaching empathy. These are taken from a
magazine called Family Fun, November 2014. http://www.parents.com/familyfun-magazine
1)
Have a kindness day. Leave coloring books & crayons
at the pediatric ER, take drawings to the assisted living facility, shake hands
with elderly residents, take cookies to the police & fire stations.
2)
Read books on
compassion like The Kindness Quilt by
Nancy Wallace. Discuss them as a family.
3)
Have them plant
a garden and give vegetables in it to the local food bank
4)
Start a lemonade
stand to raise money for cystic fibrosis research. (Or some other disability
like MS if you know someone that has it) The kids can do all work themselves:
make signs, mix up the lemonade, bake cookies, serve the guests, and thus
experience the joy that comes from giving.
5)
Once a month do a family service project. Read stories
to hospice patients, make cards for people in the local nursing home (for
whatever holiday it is that month), give toys to single moms or food to
foodshelves. Let the kids brainstorm and come up with these types of projects
on their own in family meetings.
6)
Operation Christmas Child packs boxes for kids that
otherwise have no Christmas gifts. Feed My Starving Children gives affluent
kids the opportunity to pack food for families with less, and not only get a
glimpse into their world but empowers them to do something about it.
7)
Assemble packages to keep in the car and give to the
homeless. Some ideas are granola bars, fruit snacks, McDonald’s gift cards.
Then when you pass a homeless person on a corner, they are ready for children
to give them out.
8)
Take roses to nursing home. Find out from the front
desk which patients have few or no visitors so they can know someone is
thinking of them.
9)
Do your children sing? Even the simplest songs bring
joy to the elderly and kids in the cancer ward.
Our culture does not teach kids to Love well. Let's teach them how!
