The final installment in my 4 part series on Burnout. Pastors? Doctors? Counselors? Teachers? Lawyers? Nurses? Caregivers, Missionaries? I hope this has been helpful. At the end I put a poem/hymn that has been really a blessing to me; a copy of it is displayed in each of my offices. Enjoy!
10. Guilt. How do we live in a
world where there is such an imbalance of resources? There is great disparity,
and we need to come to grips with that in order not to feel guilty.
One effect
of guilt is that it can affect any authentic connection between people. We tend
to purposefully diminish ourselves in an unsuccessful attempt to connect with
those less fortunate than us. “Why can I buy some new shoes when they don’t
even have a house?” we think. Or we downplay that we had a nice, fun weekend,
knowing that our clients did not.
Guilt is one of the strongest signs
of trauma response. Yet if we yield to it, it blocks our ability to be present
with those who need us. We must overcome this false sense of guilt, and take in
the beauty, and fresh sense of rejuvenation around us. We’ll need it to bring
some sense of nourishment and care to others.
Ps 32:10 “Many are the sorrows of the
wicked, but he who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him”
Ps. 31:23 “The Lord preserves the
faithful, and faithfully recompenses the proud doer.”
Ps. 84:11 “No good thing does He
withhold from those who walk uprightly.”
11. Fear. Fear is a natural
and healthy response to much of what we witness. But, too often we don’t
acknowledge it, because it makes us feel so vulnerable. It may make us
uncomfortable to discover that we have much in common with our clients, who are
also fearful.
Do we disconnect from our fear because it reminds us of the
fragility of our lives? When we acknowledge our fear, we have the opportunity
to deepen our compassion. When we overcome the fear of dying, it helps us
embrace the preciousness of life, and live in a more loving way.
Is 41:9,10 “You are my servant, I
have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, I am with you, do not
anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I
will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Ps 34:7 “The angel of the Lord
encamps around those who fear Him and delivers them.”
Phil 3:13,14 “Forgetting what is
behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win
the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
I Jn. 4:4 “You, dear children, are
from God and have overcome them, because greater is He that is in you than he
that is in the world.”
12. Anger and Cynicism. Anger
is a common feeling that we get when confronted with injustice. But, the
majority of people have not been raised with good skills for managing anger. No
wonder there are so many anger management classes and groups being offered!
We
need to learn what to do with our anger to be healthy individuals. We need to
be comfortable with our anger or our clients will find it impossible to process
their anger with us. Cynicism is one way that many people deal with their
anger: it’s a sophisticated way of managing it, and often it is witty, quick,
sharp, easy to laugh at.
Yet underneath is bitterness, and that needs to be handled
with care.
Bitterness is the cocaine of emotions. Better to vent, safely
express the anger (not hurting anyone), and move on, than sit and hold on the
your anger. Find a friend who will listen, not try to fix you, and share what's on your heart.
“Be angry but do not sin, don’t let
the sun go down on your anger.”Eph. 4:26
“They looked to Him and were radiant,
and their faces shall never be ashamed.” Ps. 34:5
“For the love of Christ controls us,
having concluded this, that one dies for all, therefore all died; and He dies
that they who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died
and rose again on their behalf.” II Cor. 5:14,15
This is the poem/hymn that I never get tired of reading:
He
gives more grace when the burdens grow greater,
He
sends more strength when the labors increase;
To
added affliction He adds His mercies,
To
multiplied trials His multiplied peace.
When we
have exhausted our store of endurance,
When
our strength has failed ‘ere the day is half done,
When we
reach the end of our hoarded resources,
Our
Father’s full giving is only begun.
His
love has no limit, His grace has no measure,
His
power no boundary known unto men;
For out
of His infinite riches in Jesus
He
gives and gives and gives again.
Annie
Johnson Flint
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