I've only put 3 items at a time on each blog, because 1) busy people don't have time to read much, and 2) it allows it to be "digested" better when there are fewer.
Again, just about all of us can relate to these somewhat. In this day and age where we move quickly, and don't take time to reflect, to take care of ourselves... PAY ATTENTION!
7. Inability to Listen/Deliberate
Avoidance. We refuse to answer the telephone. We hope fervently for
bad weather so we don’t have to work, we knock softly, hoping that they aren’t
home. We choose not to go out at all, or if we do it’s with people who won’t
engage in depth with us. We avoid the pain.
As we get overwhelmed with trauma
exposure, we lose interest in things that once gave us joy: friends, family,
yoga, sports, dancing, art, hobbies. We don’t listen anymore, for fear of what
we’ll hear. Avoiding can become a habit, and it is very serious.
Addictions are
common with trauma exposed persons. Why? Because they allow us to numb
ourselves, or avoid overwhelming feelings. Drugs, alcohol, food, sex,
electronic games are common ones. While we may understand that the thing we are
addicted to has a potentially destructive nature, we allow ourselves to become
attached to it.
Overwork, for many of us, becomes an addiction. The rush of
adrenaline that come with moving fast, and the rewards given by our productivity-based
society to us for overworking make it nearly impossible to stop.
We need to ask ourselves: do I have a
productivity-based identity? Am I only as valuable as what I DO, not who I am?
Do I lack the inner capacity to deal with my reality, or am I seeing a thing,
substance, or person to help me avoid it?
Ps. 84:11 “The Lord is a sun and a
shield, The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from
those who walk uprightly.”
Prov.11:25 “The generous man will be
prosperous, and he who waters, will himself be watered.”
Phil. 2:10,11 “At the name of Jesus,
every knee shall bow,… every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.”
Lord, break the power of idols in my life! Our hearts are idol-makers, and we must keep diligently aware, to break the power of addictions before they become too powerful in our lives.
8. Inability to Empathize, Numbing. An
inability to feel with a person, or feeling numb, happens as a result of being
overwhelmed with bad things that happen to people. One person described it as
if you are a sponge that gets completely saturated and is never wrung out. You
can only hold so much.
The body naturally used a complicated mix of hormones,
chemicals, and sensory cues to manufacture feelings. These alert us to danger,
focus our attention, and calm us down. But we can override it, that is “numb
out” by shutting them down.
Alcohol and drugs are used to numb
our feelings, but also they can be numbed by adrenaline, caffeine, and even too
much sugar.
Overwork many times takes our attention, and this is not a good
thing. Many people addicted to overwork report that when they take a vacation,
they are sick the first half of it, because they are not used to living in a
relaxed state. Imagine going on a 7-day vacation and being sick the first 5
days from adrenaline withdrawal. It happens, frequently!
Here's a quote from Thomas Merton:
“The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own
inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of our work, because it
kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.” (p. 108, Trauma Exposure)
“Be still and know that I am God.”
Ps. 46:10
Ps 119:32 “I will run the way
of your commandments for you will enlarge my heart.”
II Tim 2:3 “Endure hardship with us
like a good soldier in Christ Jesus…”
9. Dissociative moments. We
all know what it is like to dissociate temporarily, having our mind wander when
we’re listening to a story, or not remembering where we were when we were going
along a road that we had gone on 5,000 times.
But the dissociative experience
we are talking about here is caused by intrusive or overwhelming feelings. A
person cuts themselves off from their internal experience in order to guard against
sensations and emotions that would be overwhelming to them. Not only are they
in their own little world , separate from those they are supposed to be
listening to, but their mind is wandering. This is common for people who are
exposed to suffering.
Don’t try to pretend it isn’t happening, just admit it
and ask for them to repeat the last few sentences. And get help!
Is 42:19,20 “Who is so blind
but My servant? Or so deaf as my messenger whom I send? …You have seen many
things but do not observe them, your ears are open but you do not hear.” We
need to be so focused on God that we just see what He wants us to see. Like a
horse with blinders on. This will help our getting overwhelmed with the trauma
all around us. This is one of my favorite self-care verses.
Lam 3:22-26
22 The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed
never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I have hope in Him.”
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
26 It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
For His compassions never fail.
23 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,
“Therefore I have hope in Him.”
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
26 It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the Lord.
Self-care. We ALL need it, no matter of we are in a people-serving business or not. Those in such professions (counselors, teachers, pastors, missionaries, lawyers, doctors, nurses, caregivers) need it twice as much. Let's calm ourselves and enjoy life. God is on the throne.
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