How to Defeat the Gimmes

How, in a culture gone mad with materialism, do we teach our kids that “it is more blessed to give than to receive?”   There is no time that is more important to remember and teach this to our children than during the Christmas season! 

An article in a Focus on the Family magazine that addressed that very topic impressed me.  The author reports watching in dismay as their children grabbed the gifts, opened them hastily and without expressing any thanks, greedily went on looking for more. Then the children complained when they didn’t get “as many” as a sibling, or everything they wanted.

Out of one child’s mouth came the very definition of entitlement: “Is that all there are…?” What could be more disheartening to a Christian parent?

When I was growing up my family instituted a practice that we have also used with our children.  On Christmas morning, (or whenever the gifts are opened), one person selects a gift from under the tree for any family member he or she chooses and gives it to them. Everyone watches as that person opens it, enjoying it with him or her. After the recipient has thanked the giver, he or she gets up and gives one gift to someone else in the family. And it goes on this way until all the gifts are opened.

Here are some of the results of this structured giving. The kids usually choose their own gifts to hand out first.  We hear comments like “I know you’re going to like this!”  which show that they are truly delighting in the giving (as per Acts 20:35). Each person enjoys being the center of attention while they are opening their gift, and everyone learns to share the joy of someone else receiving a nice present.

The focus becomes more on the people giving and receiving the gifts than the gift itself, truly an advantage in our society, which is inundated with “stuff.”  Sometimes the kids will say things like, “Oh, Dad hasn’t opened a present for a while, where’s one for him?”  It brings order to the otherwise free-for-all that occurs where there is no structure, and the kids seem to enjoy it more. 

All children need a balance of structure and nurture. And role models. It is up to us to model for them godly character: self-control, patience, love of giving, and unselfishness that are the hallmarks of our faith in Christ.

 Giving to charity, volunteering at homeless shelters, filling gifts boxes for the less fortunate, even dropping money in the Salvation Army kettles teach valuable lessons to those little eyes which are constantly watching.

What values will we pass on to the next generation?  May this be a season of truly honoring Him in our homes rather than succumbing to the dictates of our ever-darkening culture.