Where are the Elizabeths? 3 Tips for Mentoring Millenials

Where are the Elizabeths?

Today someone I mentor told me that among her peer group there is a crying need for mentors.  Someone to bounce things off of, someone older and wiser by virtue of years walking with the Lord, someone who has learned life lessons by what he/she has gone thru. An Elizabeth to answer the Mary’s questions. (Luke 1:39-45)

I was saddened by this need, and a little angered. What’s my generation doing with their time that’s more important than sowing into the next generation?  So, I said I would contact all my friends (I did) and ask them to consider mentoring a person from the next generation for a while.

Here are 3 tips to remember about mentoring.

1. It’s more about relationship than it is about what you do and don’t know. Just listening, and talking about life. Head knowledge is overrated. Anyone can gain it from a book, TED talk, video, you-tube, a conference, or a seminar. But relationship is priceless. The Scripture says we have many teachers but not many fathers. (I Cor. 4:15) Could this mean that relationships are where it’s at?
    
   I once heard that the amount of influence you have on a person is inversely proportional to the size of the group you are speaking to. That means that the LEAST amount of influence is to be had in conferences, huge seminars, and the MOST is to be had with one-on-one relationships.  This has been our experience. The lives we’ve seen most healed and the souls most encouraged have all been in one-on-one relationships.
    
2. One thing NOT to do is to judge them. For their struggles, their questions, their opinions…Many in the younger generation have not been parented well, so this leaves them weak. They need encouragement, not judgment. Everyone is lonely. They DON’T need criticism, to be parented, or controlled. They need to be LISTENED to.
    
   I mentored one girl for 12 years, and we went thru Proverbs, the chapter for the day, every time. And we talked about boyfriends, her friends, family, etc. The scripture is important; it is a springboard to pressing questions that plague these young people. It contains the answers, but they aren’t readily apparent to them. As they grow to trust you, the relationship will open up the answers to their questions. But they will not open up to you if you judge them.
    
3. Let them observe. I had a mentor while in college, and I don’t remember what we talked about. But I remember that just being with her strengthened me. Just being in her presence! She had 3 kids, all in school, and I ate supper with them once a month. I learned infinitely more from observing her than from anything she told me. She once surprised her husband with a guitar for his birthday. I remember that 40 years later!
    
   It’s kind of like kids: they learn much more from what they see their parents DO than what they say.

So, if you are in the wiser generation, PLEASE take this as a kick in the pants to get started mentoring. If you are a young person, KEEP ON SEEKING for a mentor. Inter-generational relationships are not only good, they are vital.

There’s something about the wisdom of ages that rubs off on you. The Proverbs say, “Wisdom is in the presence of one who has understanding…”  (17:24) Let’s get wisdom! Spend time with the wise!