"Wired for Love"

In my personal life, I struggle with fear, just like everyone does.

This weekend I had to take a test for HIPPA, something that clinicians do regularly. I had to watch a 35 minute video, and answer 14 questions afterwards, getting at least 10 right. My goodness, how I struggled with that! After failing the first 5 times (I’m not used to failing…), I called a friend to pray for me. I proceeded to fail another 9 times in 2 days. Yes, really, I’m being brutally honest here. To say I felt like a failure would be an understatement.

During the time I was struggling with the test, I listened to Dr. Leaf’s book on audible, and it really encouraged me. I asked for prayer at church from a pastor, came home, failed it once more, then passed it on the 16^th try!!! What a relief! My journey out of a fear-based mindset was continuing.

I remember when I was in grad school trying to decide if I should take a class from a certain professor whom I knew to be tough and have very high standards.  That day I went for a jog, and when I got home, I felt different: confident that I could indeed take it from him. I went on to even write my thesis with him as a mentor.

My point is that so often we sell ourselves short. We allow fear to define us. How much better we could be if we did self-care for our minds. We need to  “Choose to bombard the cells of your body with positivity, honing in on your natural proclivity toward love. We are all wired with an optimism basis.” *

“A mindset is an attitude, or a cluster of thoughts with attached information and emotions that generate a particular perception. … Your mindsets set your expectation levels, which will be either positive or negative.” So starts out Dr. Caroline Leaf in her new book Think, Learn, Succeed. It’s a marvelous book, the kind I have to read and re-read it slowly to be able to get what I want out of it. She is one of the most brilliant neuroscientists alive today. Google her, you’ll see what I mean.

In my profession, I’m challenged all the time to lead people out of negative, fear-based thinking, into positive, reality-based thinking. Many just don’t get that they really do have a choice. But many do. 

Wired for love; what does that mean exactly?

Love is an umbrella term for all the characteristics that we value as human being: gratitude, joy, peace, patience, kindness, positivity, happiness, responsibility, and so on. Fear, on the other hand is the opposite of love, just as ingratitude is the opposite of gratitude and cruelty is the opposite of kindness. Fear eats away at us, crippling our ability to live the kind of life we want to live. A fear of failure, for example, stifles creativity and the imagination, hindering an individual’s ability to pursue his or her goals and dreams. (p. 44)

One of my goals this year is to learn “to control and activate the power of mindset to influence life outcomes.” That’s a fancy way of saying “engage in more mental self-care.” I’ll be reading more of Dr. Leaf’s books and listening to her podcasts.

We need it now more than ever. With the Coronavirus continuing to rear its ugly head, and so much uncertainty in the world, how can we not do something different?

Stress can be toxic or healthy. Oh that we can learn to harness the energy we use to decry stress and instead meet it as a challenge. We can be anxious or look at it as an adventure. We can think of it as a challenge to overcome (and the human mind is infinitely creative at solving problems) or something we can’t handle.

The Scriptures say, “Fear not!” 365 times. Let’s obey both science and Scripture and learn to overcome fear. Our lives will be 100% better, we’ll thrive.

* p. 40, Think, Learn, Succeed by Dr. Caroline Leaf.