I counsel
many marriages. I’m struck by how many would be improved by simply praying
these prayers with an earnest, sincere heart. Nearly every problem I encounter as
I help couples unravel their marriages is covered.
If we believe that God answers prayer, we will
find that He is waiting to bless us with answers to these simple, relational
prayers!
8 Simple Prayers that Help Marriages
1. Lord, give us tender hearts for each other and for
You. This is a powerful
prayer. It’s based on Matt. 19:8 where Jesus says that “because of the hardness
of your hearts, Moses allowed you divorce.” When we get hurt, we harden our
hearts which leads to emotional separation. Pray this daily for our spouses and
ourselves! Some days praying this several times is not too often.
2. Lord, help us to hear You together. In
Is. 30:18-21 we learn that He longs to bless us and that He will direct us. How
vital to develop the ability to hear His guiding voice in unity! Pray to “hear”
and then tell each other what you’ve heard from God. Then pray again to choose
a course together.
3. Lord, what should I say and what should l not say?
Help me know how much to say, when to say it, and if I should keep
silent on this issue. Prov. 15:23 say that an apt answer brings joy. There are many
other Proverbs that speak of the danger of using too many words. We need to
learn discernment on what is too much and what is “stuffing it” or saying not
enough.
4. Lord, give me Your eyes to see him/her. II
Cor. 5:16 says we can learn to recognize no one according to the old nature. Asking
Him to help us see our spouse with His eyes is very helpful, as our vision is
often clouded with our own hurts, preconceived notions, and history of wounds from
others.
5. Lord, help me see myself as You see me. Due to our own personal wounds we are often
harsh with ourselves. This also causes us to be critical of our spouse and
children. Song of Sol 6:9-10 is a precious Scripture that shows how God sees
us. Ps.139:13-16 also address self concept issues. One of the greatest gifts we
can give our spouse and children is to allow Him to heal our emotional pain.
6. Lord, help me to encourage myself. In I Sam 30:6, David showed that he knew how
to encourage himself in God’s strength. Too often we rely on our spouse for
encouragement, and try to get all our needs met from him/her. As we learn to
rely more on God to meet our needs, it will greatly improve our marriages. We
will be like less like a vacuum cleaner, sucking the life out of the other one
and more like a fountain, overflowing with love to give out.
7. Lord, help me to encourage my wife/husband today. Heb. 3:13 urges us to encourage each other,
because life is full of discouraging situations that drain us. How can we be
part of the solution rather than part of the problem for our spouse?
8. Lord, give me victory over bitterness. Heb. 12:14-17 warns us that a bitter heart
can pollute many. Most notably our children will learn to harbor bitterness, resentment
and unforgiveness if we do not get victory over these negative emotions in our marriages.
“Forgiveness is giving up your right to hurt the person back who hurt you.” (Dr.
Archibald Hart) This understanding has the potential to change marriages
everywhere. After all, a marriage is a union of two good forgivers.
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